My journey to confidence

This year has been a really important year for me. I took a gap year and deferred my place at university because I wanted to not only make sure I was prepared going into university but I also wanted a year to do me and not have to worry about exams or results. I started to think that maybe it was a bad idea at one point. That was until I really started to think about what I have actually accomplished this year and how I have grown as a person.

Four years ago I moved to the UK. At the time I remember crying because I didn’t want to move even though I wasn’t necessarily happy in Ireland I didn’t like the thought of leaving and moving to a new country. Before I moved here I was a completely different person I was only 15 but in the past 4 years I have grown into someone I can be truly proud of. Most people are shy when they are younger but I took this to a whole new level, I hated going shopping because it meant I would have to talk to the cashier, I hated doing anything that involved me talking to someone I didn’t know and even people I had known since primary school the thought of speaking to some of them scared me. I was so insecure and had 0 confidence I hated my skin my body my face who I was everything so I hid myself away and kept my head in my books where I truly felt happy in my younger days. Books to me were like an escape no matter what was going on in your life a good book could change everything at least for the time being.

I was always so scared that people were judging me, I constantly felt that when I was in public I had to act a certain way. When I moved here I had no idea how to do makeup I remember only ever wearing foundation and sometimes mascara and I wore black eyeliner. It was awful. I was also convinced that I would only  be happy if I had a good body because I didn’t think I had a very good face so I thought having a good body would make up for it.

The above is just a little brief on me and how I used to be before I really started my journey of confidence.

My mind-set has changed a great deal in the past couple of years. I had a really destructive mind-set in my younger days and I think it took several different things together to really help me. This blog post isn’t telling you all how to be confident but just to share with you my journey! So one thing that really helped me was finally embracing who I am. You only get one body one face one life and what’s the point in feeling upset because you don’t have a face or body like Michelle keegan? It’s just a waste of time. A lot of people including me at one point thought that you had to have been born with an incredible body to have one. Now I know that these people aren’t lucky but hardworking. This was kind of like a stepping stone for me not just about me working hard to get the body I want but also working hard for everything that I want in this life.

I understand I can’t please everyone with what I write but I want to write the truth and be completely honest with everyone about the steps I went on that helped me to achieve the mind-set I now have. And one of those things is makeup, it can be a powerful thing and can change someone’s confidence drastically. I fell in love with makeup about 3 years ago and never looked back. For a period of my life makeup became my armour, I didn’t feel like anyone was ever judging me when I had makeup on and if they were it was because they were hating on me because they could never get their eyebrows as fleeky as I could. I felt like the most confident version of me (at the time) when I wore makeup. This can be seen as a good and a bad thing because I wore it that much that I didn’t feel like me if I didn’t have makeup on , which is never a good thing. I was so scared that people would judge me once they saw what I really looked like without makeup. So although discovering makeup was a great thing for my confidence I still needed something to make me feel confident without makeup.

 

Then came my boyfriend. My boyfriend and I have been together over a year and I know a woman should never have to rely on a man to make them feel confident but my boyfriend has made me feel more confident than I have in my whole life. I think he was the push I really needed to help me feel confident in my own body. When you’re as unconfident as I was having someone who not only loves you but loves your face your body you’re everything is a major confidence boost. I did mention that I started to wear makeup all the time and I really meant this like at least 6 to 7 days a week. He has made me feel as confident without it as I do with it. Now I’m not saying you all need a guy to feel confident it was just a part of my personal journey.

Another thing that I feel helped me was when I realised that caring about other people’s opinions stops you from being great. It holds you back because you’re scared other people won’t approve. This stops you from not only being confident in all of your actions but you can also miss out on some incredible opportunities. When you realise that not everyone in this world wants to see you succeed and be the incredible human being you were born to be that is when you will truly begin your journey to confidence. 

My journey has been a long one and it hasn’t finished yet , every day I notice myself becoming more and more confident about myself and everything I do and it truly amazes me. If you ever feel like you can’t do something or you can’t ever be like someone you admire just try to remember that we really do only get one life. One chance to do everything and be who we want to be you don’t want to be remembered as that person who was so scared of failing and having people laugh that they never did anything extraordinary in their life do you?

I have previously wrote a post about writing a bucket list and I think this can also be a really good way of gaining confidence within yourself. Once you start to accomplish the things you write down in your bucket list you can start to see that the world is your oyster and if you really put your mind to something you can do anything.

In this post I wanted to talk about my journey to becoming the confident person I am today – I do want to tell you all though that I still have days where I don’t feel confident and that is why it is a journey. I’m not 100 percent confident in myself and everything I do but I am on the way to this and it feels really good. It was an extremely long and slow process for me to become the confident person I am today but if I can do it anyone can!

I hope you all liked this post please comment and share if you did!

Lots of love x

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